Have you ever made a decision based off fear?
A time in your life that’s been so uncertain you take the first opportunity to feel safe and secure again? “Getting back on track” is what they call it, right?
That’s been my ride over the past 3 years. Between Covid and all the ways it has changed the world, I was on this constant teeter-totter; one moment up, the next one down, only to repeat the same emotions day after day. I came to a breaking point when two days before Thanksgiving 2021, my husband got laid off. I snapped. I was exhausted from being on the roller coaster and I needed a way out.
So I attempted to reverse my life and go back to when things were “stable.” Last spring I moved into a temporary, corporate job and moved my business to part-time. Everything about the experience from the interviews to my new job felt as if I was an imposter. I was having daily anxiety attacks. My skin was an uncomfortable pair of pants that had shrunk and didn’t fit. I was a deflating balloon, exhaling passion, inspiration, motivation, and interest. I’d never been worse at anything in my whole life and I was questioning my character, my integrity; everything about myself.
This past fall I had a big moment of clarity. Epic. One of those moments where God takes the back of his hand and smacks you flat across your face. It hurt, and it left a big red mark, but as a woman of faith, his message was loud and clear- I was on the wrong path. I’d let my insecurities and fears rule my choices and I made a wrong decision. I was tied in knots from trying to fit back into a career that I’d never chosen for myself, never loved. It was time to walk away.
And it was terrifying.
We had just bought a new house, Jack was in a new private school, and here I was, changing the plan in my late forties.
I took a couple of weeks to let go of all my anxieties, and expectations to get clear-headed. I needed to define the path forward instead of feeling around in the spooky dark for answers. I learned a lot about myself. A lot. I saw the impact of how much the last decade of being a small business owner has changed my values and expectations for my life and career. For the first time in 3 years since life got Covid-crazy, I knew where I needed to go.
Since that face-smacking moment, I have been able to get off anxiety medication, move back into my office (which I couldn’t go into), and feel my value again. Life is slowly starting to make sense again and I have no doubt that I am in the right place. My skin fits like a glove.
This is my truth. I am so thankful for my faith, family, and clients that inspire and support me every day. I’m so excited to show you what I’ve been working on. It became so clear and I’m so excited about what’s ahead.
If you are interested, click on the link below to see what I’ve been up to. Its time to grow and expand my business and I’m so excited to share it with you.
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